When everything isn't enough

Raw.

Rubbed raw.

I am a mess of all those emotions that I spend all my days trying not to feel. Joy; melancholy; hurt; loss. Lots of loss. I try so hard not to feel them, so I waste away my empty hours. Someone once described it as missing something that you never actually had - it's more like missing something that you could've had, and didn't.

It's hard when you know you tried, isn't it? You did your best, you laid your heart on the line, you put yourself out there... however they say it these days. And it just wasn't quite enough.

I just wasn't quite enough.